Did You Know That…

Did You Know That…

Hi everyone,

I have been catching up with spending time with family, friends and loved ones. Today I decided to focus one of the most important part of the female body… Our genital; The Vagina. I came across the Goddess Vaginal Detox Pearls and I took time out to check out videos on reviews from users and read a couple of articles on it (which i will share in my next post). However, I decided to share some common tips on vaginal healthcare that have been tried and proven to work, and hope as you incorporate these into your life style, you would see some improvements in your VeeVee section.

Did you know that …

1. The vagina washes itself hence the discharge you see. So you do not need any douche or feminine wash, all you have to do is squat very well in the bathroom and rinse with a lot of  water. Also you can use a soap-less sponge to gently scrub away any dead skin.  You should only be worried about the discharges if it has an unusual odor or color that is different from the regular color.

2 The vaginal discharge varies in color at different time of the woman’s menstrual cycle.It could be white or creamy when it comes out but when it dries up it has a creamy color  and gets stuck to your panties like dried starch. That is why ladies should always wear pantyliner to collect this contents. During the week of your ovulation especially on the ovulation day, the vaginal discharge is a transparent white and sticky substance but after your ovulation week it returns to its regular color.

3. It is more hygienic to clean from front to back after urinating or pooing to prevent bacteria infection of your genitals.

4. When urinating try to lean forward to avoid the urine splashing back to your genitals. If you urinate sitting up directly, the urine will splash back and would eventually affect the health of your vagina.

5. When you urinate do not clean up with dry tissue, dampen the tissue a bit before cleaning up and then completely clean up with dry tissue. If you use dry tissue, it does not take out the smell of urine like a damp or slightly wet tissue would and then cleaning up with dry tissue after the wet tissue will take care of every moisture and avoid bacteria infection or smell.

6. After having sex, you should try as much as possible to urinate almost immediately, it is beneficial to your vagina’s health.

7. A healthy vagina is pink in color, well moisturized on the inside and does not take long in getting itself wet and slippery for a sexual coitus.

8. The pubic hair around the vagina should be trimmed and well cleaned to prevent infection.

9. Drinking a lot of water helps with the cleaning process of your body and vagina.

10. Wearing tight  panties restricts the flow of air to the genitals and non-cotton panties do not trap moisture. Try to wear panties that allow your genitals breathe and  go “Commando” when you sleep at night so you can get some air there. Some ladies say they cannot go commando but ensure you have a shower and change your panties before you sleep. Wearing the same panties all day increases your chances of infection.


Try these tips for a week and let me know what you think about it or if there is any improvement in your vaginal health.

What’s Your Depth Like?

What’s Your Depth Like?

Image result for classy black women

Hi ladies, recently I stumbled upon something important that it literally blew my mind and I thought about sharing it with y’all.

Honestly, all ladies are beautiful, in whatever shape, size and height they come in, they are all beautiful, trust me, there is a man out there that loves you the way you are. The truth is men have so many ladies to choose from, there are thousands of ladies that have the same shape, height, size and are more beautiful than you are, so when a man chooses to be with you, stop putting him under unnecessary pressure or giving him an attitude, if you push too much, he will leave after all there are many fishes in the water and since he has chosen to eat mackerel but the bones are giving him a hard time, he would choose an alternative.

I know you will say if he wants me he will fight for you, yes he will but you need to give him the green light as John Legend sang, even Rapunzel in her massive tower let down her hair for prince charming to come in. With that being said, let’s get back to today’s topic. So among these beautiful ladies, what is that thing that makes you unique, sets you apart from every lady out there? Take your time to think about it and send your comments.

What I have discovered from studies and personal observation is DEPTH.
Yes depth. In today’s world, most people especially ladies are carried away with frivolous things such that the inner character that defines who we are and attracts people to us is gradually fading out. We spend more time investing in our physical looks, on Instagram and snap-chats than improving our personality and character. When I say depth, I mean quality, pedigree and a situation where your personality is as attractive as and reflects your appearance. For example if you are beautiful physically but your character is nasty and you are shallow, that is a total turn off for whoever comes your way because your beauty inside should radiate outside.So if, what a person gets from you is a nasty attitude, you are nasty and no matter how beautiful you are, people cannot put up with nastiness for too long.

Also, depth reflects in your conversations with people, your choice of words and reactions. For example, ladies that call other ladies bitches, hoes or use vulgar words are obviously shallow and lack self esteem and respect. Similarly, can a man be with you, be relaxed and have an intelligent conversation with you for more than 1 hour without you cracking up stupidly? Does he get bored after spending 30 minutes with you? Can you go to the bar with a guy without requesting for a bottle of Guinness or similar beer that a man drinks? When you drink like this, the man sees you as one of the boys or a drinking partner and then you wonder why he has no respect for you or he is seeing other women. Oh girl! if you are like this, then you need to begin to readjust yourself.

Class, integrity, sophistication are part of the byproducts of depth. Do you stick to your words when you tell the boo I will stop clubbing or seeing my ex? Do you get angry unnecessarily or over small matters and throw a tantrum? Girl! men hate stress, they experience it every day because of the demands placed on them, being with the babe is a time for them to ease off stress but when babe is a fighter and a nag…. he will hit the road. What is your dressing like? Do you dress like a cheap girl or your dressing reveals the classy lady that you are?

Basically, take a moment to think about all these, ask yourself if your appearance reflects you because if you are ugly on the inside and beautiful outside, after a while, your ugliness will overtake the beauty. Similarly, learn to look for this depth in men because you need it, to have a great relationship.

Finally remember to leave your comments below on the unique quality you look for in a man or you feel sets you apart from other women out there.

Men Don’t Fall In Love With Perfect Women (Discussion)

Men Don’t Fall In Love With Perfect Women (Discussion)

Hi Everyone, how is your day going?

For today’s post, I said I was going to discuss the previous posts on men falling in love with perfect women. The word perfection is relative to the user and the context within which it is being used. Generally, we are not the same, were not brought up the same way and are from different countries where culture and tradition differ, so the definition of perfection will differ because of these features. The only constant standard for perfection and excellence is  God and his word, which he has given us to live by because he knows the ways of man are not perfect, and because of the societal norms and man-made customs, our thoughts can lack excellence. Nevertheless, in all these he loves and accepts us the way we are well enough to send Jesus to die for mankind.

Likewise, the guy that claims to love you, will love you with the flaws et al. Funny stuff could be that those flaws are what attracted you to him more than the good things you think you have. In this context, perfection to him could be lip gloss and white talc powder meanwhile you are busy spending so much money on M.A.C and MaryKay products, why not find out what he likes and does not like about you and improve upon them

“I believe one of the biggest roadblocks to romance is our need and desire to be perfect. It is our desire to be “enough” that is causing us much of the pain and suffering.” (D. Shen, 2017)

The truth is that most ladies feel that until they go into a relationship, that’s when they should start taking care of the pimples and acne on their faces, the body odor or the nasty attitude.  You should not do that because of him, you should seek self improvement for yourself – simply because being better makes you and those around you happy and brings out the best of you. What you may think is “enough” might be the huge turnoff in your relationship. So don’t seek to make yourself perfect but focus on self improvement that makes you and those around you happy.

Men Don’t Fall in Love With Perfect Women (2)

Men Don’t Fall in Love With Perfect Women (2)

Am sure from reading the first article, you are picking out some stuff about yourself and wondering why you have been killing yourself and working hard to be perfect for the presumed Mr. Perfect or Mr. Right. Here is a second part to conclude the whole talk then you can send in your comments and my next post will be a discussion of the article.

In order to fall deeply in love, a man has to be able to relate to you. It’s hard to relate to someone when they’re stuck in their own head – when we try to be perfect, we really are stuck in our own head. So if you feel like you have to strive towards something, strive towards being imperfect.

Julia Roberts wasn’t trying to be perfect in Pretty Woman. She was as imperfect as it gets… just like you and I deep down inside.

Men fall in love with imperfect women, because these women are real.

But don’t all the “perfect women” get all the attention?

I know what you’re thinking… perfect women get more attention.


Yes and no.


Sure, men as a collective whole may be fascinated by those “perfect women” and perhaps even give them most of the attention.

But there’s a huge difference between attention and love.

It’s a difference that can be hard to see when you’re chasing attention, but perhaps when you’ve reached the top of the pyramid of attention, then you’d realize how empty attention is.

(Remember all those Hollywood stars that have overdosed? They didn’t do it because they didn’t have enough attention.)

Because attention is cheap. It’s like those cheap snacks in your cupboards that only adds inches to the waistline, but are so damn tasty! (What? You don’t have those snacks in your cupboard? Me either.)


The truth is quite simple… men may give superficial attention to those “perfect women” but they fall deeply in love with those who are imperfect.

Which would you rather if you could only choose one?

 Men giving you attention or men actually falling in love with you emotionally?

It’s a real difficult decision, I know.

The best type of love is when it’s imperfect.

The perfect thing about love and romance is that it isn’t meant to be perfect.

It is meant to be two individuals sharing authentically and relating spontaneously.

It’s this pursuit of perfection that is sometimes preventing ourselves from being the authentic, spontaneous version of ourselves.


Men don’t fall in love with perfect women. They fall in love with real women… women who are imperfect. So perhaps the perfect thing to give yourself right now is the permission to be imperfect. Perfection is the wrong game to play.


This all reminds me of when I was in my teenage years and playing a lot of competitive golf.

(Don’t laugh, I know you think golf is an old man sport, at least I thought I was cool, that’s what matters right?). Anyhow, I was young (and stupid) and I fell into the trap of becoming too fascinated with own golf swing. Everywhere I went, I watched and analyzed my own golf swing in the reflections of mirrors and glass panels. I used to record my swing on an old “piece of junk” camcorder and play it back over and over again, like a real golf swing connoisseur. Deep down inside, I thought that if my golf swing was “perfect”, then everything would be great.


Boy – was I an idiot. What I didn’t realize was that nobody was keeping score of what my golf swing looked like. Nobody even cared. And as a result, I lost track of what really mattered.

(Which was shooting a good score and therefore winning tournaments… apparently that was what golf was all about… who would have thought!). A golf swing that was aesthetically pleasing is, sadly useless. I know, hind sight is always 20-20 right?


Perhaps you’re also chasing after a certain type of perfection that is taking your focus off of what really matters?

Perhaps chasing perfection and chasing attention is sabotaging the possibility of men falling in love with you.

Just maybe…

Men fall in love with imperfect women. Take a moment, and just look around you.

Men everywhere are falling deeply in love with women who are NOT perfect. If you would look, you would see many examples of this.


Many would suggest that Hugh Jackman’s wife isn’t so perfect, but it didn’t stop him from falling in love with her… Or similar things could be said about Pierce Brosnan’s wife, Keely?

And of course, there are countless other examples. You see, in the eyes of men, these “imperfect women” suddenly become every bit perfect, because they are real. Falling in love is real, it can’t be faked. Perhaps love is blind or perhaps love is not about being perfect.

Don’t chase perfection… your imperfections are worth more than that. Lots of Love to You as always…

D. Shen
Founder of Shen Wade Media
Commitment Triggers



Watch out for my discussion on this in my next post.

Men Don’t Fall in Love with Perfect Women (1)

Men Don’t Fall in Love with Perfect Women (1)

Hi every one, happy Thursday. This week, I came across some articles that were quite interesting to read but I was contemplating  if I should share with you or not? Nevertheless, I will share one of them because it’s all about knowledge acquisition.  You can read the article, pick out the vital information that you think you need and  trash the rest. Kindly note, I did not write the article but will reference the author at the bottom of the page. Its pretty long but i will break it into three blog posts for your convenience. So here goes part one:

Did you ever watch that movie back in the 90’s with Richard Gere and Julia Roberts, Pretty Woman? (If you haven’t, it’s definitely worth your time). If you have seen it… then let me ask you a simple question…

Why (or more specifically… HOW) did a high status and rich lawyer (Richard Gere) end up falling in love with a woman who sells her body for a living and apparently didn’t have any “class”, any education, or the other characteristics that society tells us we should have?

Perhaps love is blind? Or perhaps there are other factors at play here?

Let me come back to what the answer is a bit later on.

Interesting thing about men falling in love…

In all my research into why men and women fall in love, I’ve come across some very interesting and surprising discoveries.


For example… men tend to fall in love within hours of meeting a woman. In other words, the biological process of falling in love for a man, happens rather quick.

(We’re talking about the cascade of dopamine, oxytocin and vasopressin in the brain but let’s not get geeky here.)

What this means for you, is that when it comes to dating, the first few hours or the first few interactions are probably the most important.This doesn’t mean a romance couldn’t ensue later down the track, it is just to demonstrate the speed in which “falling in love” occurs.


Another thing I have found interesting is this, the more effort you put into wanting someone to like you, the less likely they will fall in love with you.

So ironic huh?

(Perhaps I’ll talk more about that in another article.)

I believe one of the biggest roadblocks to romance is our need and desire to be perfect. It is our desire to be “enough” that is causing us much of the pain and suffering.

If I could only just be enough…

If I could just be tall enough, pretty enough, thin enough, smart enough… perhaps then I am worthy of love, perhaps then I’ll find that man who loves me, perhaps then he won’t leave me again…


(Even though we theoretically and intellectually know that nobody in this world is perfect, we still chase after this idea of “perfection”.)

And look, there’s nothing wrong with chasing perfection. It is, by all means a “good” thing. An artist chases perfection and takes their art to a whole new realm.

An athlete chases perfection and sets a new standard for the rest of the world.

A designer chases perfection and creates a brand new paradigm of thinking.

However… (And this is a BIG however…)

When it comes to love and romance, the pursuit of perfection is perhaps your biggest enemy. That’s right… the pursuit of perfection kills love.

Because for as long as you’re trying to be perfect, you can’t be fully engaged with a man. You can’t fully be present and “fall” into the moment.

You can’t feel the subtle emotions that are required for romance and passion to exist.

You’re simply too busy in your own head being caught up with this idea of perfection.


(Remember perfectionists aren’t happy people)

And men simply don’t fall in love with perfect women.

D. Shen
Founder of Shen Wade Media
Commitment Triggers
The Art of Comparison

The Art of Comparison

I watched a movie recently about three female friends and their relationships  with their partners (two were married and one was single). The focal point of the movie was Comparison or what I will call the Act of Comparison. As individuals, we have a tendency to want to compare our lives with other peoples’ lives, because we believe their lives are better than ours. We are driven by the image the society has painted for us as the perfect picture, such that we see what could have been beautiful as ugly or perfect as imperfect. For example, an average girl would describe the ideal man as tall, lean muscled, perfect smile, white teeth, earns 6 figures, has a mansion and the list goes on… Similarly, men follow the standards of what the perfect lady should be. In the process of following these artificial and man made descriptions, we miss seeing the excellence and simplicity of beauty in others. We miss seeing how delightful hanging out with that lanky guy or lady is, how the rich laughter resonating from an average guy or lady sounds magical to the ears, or how the presence of that big lady fills the room with so much energy and life.

Likewise in our lives we judge ourselves too much by these societal standards forgetting that we are different and unique. We are vessels made from different materials; clay, gold, wood, metal e.t.c. and these materials, have their own unique properties that makes them distinct from each other. These properties influence the degree of pressure, heat, manipulation etc that can be exerted on them. For example, metal can bend but wood can not, gold needs fire to be refined but wood needs a lot of chiseling to be refined. Therefore as a vessel, you will be at your best when you function according to the property you are made of. For example, if you are like wood you have no business being on fire because unlike metal or clay, you will burn. Also, it will be more honorable for you that after you have found your properties, function according to them, Do not look at the gold vase in the room or the glass vase in the kitchen, and wish you were in their shoes. The gold vase may look beautiful as a piece of ornament but may feel miserable being one. If you swap positions, you may see that as glass, you may not be able to endure the fall when the the kids push you off the table, you would shatter. The truth is the properties that you are made of, kind of affects the challenges you may experience in life. The refining period of your life helps to harness, strengthen and bring out the best of those properties, just like gold, such that when challenges that match the properties come, you can absorb or refrain them as you are expected to.

The moral is do not compare yourself to others because you are you and no one can be like you. Be satisfied and enjoy the beauty around you because while you were busy pursuing the standards of the society, you missed the most precious things and moments of life.

Properties; Your personality ; features, distinctive attribute, or quality, characteristics


Perfecto (Single and Loving it 3)


Ballet (2)

This just says it all. Yeah… why do you want to spend your time thinking about how lonely you feel, why you are single or weird, if there is something wrong with you or why everything around you is quiet . Channel all that energy to acquiring a skill and learning something new. Thank God for the internet, you can take online classes and perfect your act from so many academies (Shaw AcademyLynda, Coursera  and the list goes on). Get your game on and invest in your personality.