Today has been blissful and yep I am counting down to the first day of fall (halloo weather forecast people on TV, what do you see?). OK, today’s story is kinda juicy and I really need your thoughts on this. I saw a video on Facebook with the caption “I did not marry for love”. Usually I do not watch videos of people’s personal lives on Facebook but I guess boredom made me press play. Anyway fast forward to the contents of the video, the lady in the clip said some things that were spot on – true facts I will call them. Initially my thoughts were probably she chose not to marry for love due to past relationships, mistakes, pain, career or whatever however, after spending 2 minutes watching this clip I was convinced that ladies need to watch this to just get some cloud 9 thoughts outta way.
She emphasized 3 valid reasons for her decision; Building, Development and more Building not love. Well at these point let’s look at how love is captured in relationships. Most times (no research conducted please), it is described as a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone) or an intense feeling of deep affection. From these definitions (thanks to the dictionary) love in this context is tied to feelings. Therefore you marry or go into a relationship because of the feelings you have for someone. Right? But what if you wake up one morning and you notice that for the past 3 months you stopped feeling that deep romantic affection for, or sexual attachment to that person, Would you say you have fallen out of love or that love does not exist? What if the sex that made the love extra sweet suddenly went bad, would you say the sexual attraction is gone? But I thought love was eternal and went beyond the surface because if this emotional love can fade away then I guess it was probably not love, maybe something else.
At this moment I will like to take a moment to sing in my Jennifer Hudson voice.. Could this be love , tell me what it is…… (lol)
What I am trying to explain here is that you can be sexually attracted to a person or have some form of attraction… you know what am talking about, but not really love that person because love is a choice. A choice to stay with a person no matter what he or she may look, act, talk, dress, smell or eat like and not just to stay with that person like you are being punished for your sins but to see to it that you are happy and making that person happy while bringing out the best of that person without changing who he is. Now that is Love. Have you ever heard of the idiom Love me Love my dog, it means love me and everything about me including all my excesses.
At this point, it will be great if you can rethink your definition of love and ask yourself if you really love this person well enough to live with their excesses without trying to make them change to suit your picture of the perfect person because as you are being intolerant about their personality , there are certain things about you your partner may never have complained about but is learning to love you the way you are.
Remember love is a give,give,give and keep giving situation.
( Will continue my discussion in the next post)