Am sure from reading the first article, you are picking out some stuff about yourself and wondering why you have been killing yourself and working hard to be perfect for the presumed Mr. Perfect or Mr. Right. Here is a second part to conclude the whole talk then you can send in your comments and my next post will be a discussion of the article.
In order to fall deeply in love, a man has to be able to relate to you. It’s hard to relate to someone when they’re stuck in their own head – when we try to be perfect, we really are stuck in our own head. So if you feel like you have to strive towards something, strive towards being imperfect.
Julia Roberts wasn’t trying to be perfect in Pretty Woman. She was as imperfect as it gets… just like you and I deep down inside.
Men fall in love with imperfect women, because these women are real.
But don’t all the “perfect women” get all the attention?
I know what you’re thinking… perfect women get more attention.
Yes and no.
Sure, men as a collective whole may be fascinated by those “perfect women” and perhaps even give them most of the attention.
But there’s a huge difference between attention and love.
It’s a difference that can be hard to see when you’re chasing attention, but perhaps when you’ve reached the top of the pyramid of attention, then you’d realize how empty attention is.
(Remember all those Hollywood stars that have overdosed? They didn’t do it because they didn’t have enough attention.)
Because attention is cheap. It’s like those cheap snacks in your cupboards that only adds inches to the waistline, but are so damn tasty! (What? You don’t have those snacks in your cupboard? Me either.)
The truth is quite simple… men may give superficial attention to those “perfect women” but they fall deeply in love with those who are imperfect.
Which would you rather if you could only choose one?
Men giving you attention or men actually falling in love with you emotionally?
It’s a real difficult decision, I know.
The best type of love is when it’s imperfect.
The perfect thing about love and romance is that it isn’t meant to be perfect.
It is meant to be two individuals sharing authentically and relating spontaneously.
It’s this pursuit of perfection that is sometimes preventing ourselves from being the authentic, spontaneous version of ourselves.
Men don’t fall in love with perfect women. They fall in love with real women… women who are imperfect. So perhaps the perfect thing to give yourself right now is the permission to be imperfect. Perfection is the wrong game to play.
This all reminds me of when I was in my teenage years and playing a lot of competitive golf.
(Don’t laugh, I know you think golf is an old man sport, at least I thought I was cool, that’s what matters right?). Anyhow, I was young (and stupid) and I fell into the trap of becoming too fascinated with own golf swing. Everywhere I went, I watched and analyzed my own golf swing in the reflections of mirrors and glass panels. I used to record my swing on an old “piece of junk” camcorder and play it back over and over again, like a real golf swing connoisseur. Deep down inside, I thought that if my golf swing was “perfect”, then everything would be great.
Boy – was I an idiot. What I didn’t realize was that nobody was keeping score of what my golf swing looked like. Nobody even cared. And as a result, I lost track of what really mattered.
(Which was shooting a good score and therefore winning tournaments… apparently that was what golf was all about… who would have thought!). A golf swing that was aesthetically pleasing is, sadly useless. I know, hind sight is always 20-20 right?
Perhaps you’re also chasing after a certain type of perfection that is taking your focus off of what really matters?
Perhaps chasing perfection and chasing attention is sabotaging the possibility of men falling in love with you.
Men fall in love with imperfect women. Take a moment, and just look around you.
Men everywhere are falling deeply in love with women who are NOT perfect. If you would look, you would see many examples of this.
Many would suggest that Hugh Jackman’s wife isn’t so perfect, but it didn’t stop him from falling in love with her… Or similar things could be said about Pierce Brosnan’s wife, Keely?
And of course, there are countless other examples. You see, in the eyes of men, these “imperfect women” suddenly become every bit perfect, because they are real. Falling in love is real, it can’t be faked. Perhaps love is blind or perhaps love is not about being perfect.
Don’t chase perfection… your imperfections are worth more than that. Lots of Love to You as always…
Founder of Shen Wade Media
Watch out for my discussion on this in my next post.