I watched a movie recently about three female friends and their relationships with their partners (two were married and one was single). The focal point of the movie was Comparison or what I will call the Act of Comparison. As individuals, we have a tendency to want to compare our lives with other peoples’ lives, because we believe their lives are better than ours. We are driven by the image the society has painted for us as the perfect picture, such that we see what could have been beautiful as ugly or perfect as imperfect. For example, an average girl would describe the ideal man as tall, lean muscled, perfect smile, white teeth, earns 6 figures, has a mansion and the list goes on… Similarly, men follow the standards of what the perfect lady should be. In the process of following these artificial and man made descriptions, we miss seeing the excellence and simplicity of beauty in others. We miss seeing how delightful hanging out with that lanky guy or lady is, how the rich laughter resonating from an average guy or lady sounds magical to the ears, or how the presence of that big lady fills the room with so much energy and life.
Likewise in our lives we judge ourselves too much by these societal standards forgetting that we are different and unique. We are vessels made from different materials; clay, gold, wood, metal e.t.c. and these materials, have their own unique properties that makes them distinct from each other. These properties influence the degree of pressure, heat, manipulation etc that can be exerted on them. For example, metal can bend but wood can not, gold needs fire to be refined but wood needs a lot of chiseling to be refined. Therefore as a vessel, you will be at your best when you function according to the property you are made of. For example, if you are like wood you have no business being on fire because unlike metal or clay, you will burn. Also, it will be more honorable for you that after you have found your properties, function according to them, Do not look at the gold vase in the room or the glass vase in the kitchen, and wish you were in their shoes. The gold vase may look beautiful as a piece of ornament but may feel miserable being one. If you swap positions, you may see that as glass, you may not be able to endure the fall when the the kids push you off the table, you would shatter. The truth is the properties that you are made of, kind of affects the challenges you may experience in life. The refining period of your life helps to harness, strengthen and bring out the best of those properties, just like gold, such that when challenges that match the properties come, you can absorb or refrain them as you are expected to.
The moral is do not compare yourself to others because you are you and no one can be like you. Be satisfied and enjoy the beauty around you because while you were busy pursuing the standards of the society, you missed the most precious things and moments of life.
Properties; Your personality ; features, distinctive attribute, or quality, characteristics