Have you ever wondered why you are the way you are, do things the way you you do and act like you do? Sometimes you feel really great with yourself and in a moment you experience mood swings. Some days you just want to be by yourself and other days you wish you were the life of a gathering. Well, I can boldly tell you that you are not alone, there are millions of people out there who feel the same way you do, and wish they could live a different life from the one they currently live.
Like these individuals, I have walked that path and trust me I took more than 10 personality tests to just discover my personality, what I want and how I wanted to be. After taking these tests, I discovered 2 practical steps that can help bring out he best of you just as they helped me. These steps involve;
1. Writing Things Out: Taking out time to write things about yourself is very important, because it helps to give you a clear picture of what you sincerely think about yourself, your environment and those in your life. So in your diary, write out the following:
- What you know about yourself: This step helps with clearing thoughts about yourself because you will be reaching deep within you to write about the real you that people may or may not know about. This personality is the real YOU that is surrounded by barriers that you have built from experiences. For example, when I did this, I discovered that the real me was very emotional, caring, loyal and self sacrificing but because of the experiences I had accumulated, I protected this soft and emotional one in a hard and angry shell and projected this image to people who ended up seeing and judging me negatively.
- What people describe you as: So what people describe you as is the projected image which is usually the opposite of the real you. Write this down. I have a friend who is described as being tough, strong and independent but in reality, she was none of these. Someone once called me heartless and I thought to myself if only this person knew how self sacrificing I am.
- What image you wish you were: There are people you envy or wish you could be like either because they are easy going, always happy, usually the life of any party or event, constantly surrounded by people or always have the best of everything including friends or relationship. Hey, its okay to admire or wish for something but what you do about your wish or admiration is what matters. So write out the image of yourself you wish you were because this personality has the alternate features that would help the real you bloom and maximize your potentials. For example, the real me is quiet, does not easily mix with people and loves privacy. However, I noticed that people withdrew from me and hung out with my sister who was more friendly, open and had a great sense of humor. So, I desired to be like her: the life of every gathering, funny etc. and what did I do,
2. Change: No personality feature is permanent. Evaluate the things you have written and eliminate all negative and people or self hurting features. Whatever feature you do not like, you can change it. All you have to do is make up your mind you want to change it and say to yourself the new trait that you want to have. This was what i did. I wanted to make people laugh and happy whenever they were with me so I told myself every day that I have a great sense of humor and before I knew it, I would talk and people laughed. I made efforts to make people feel comfortable when they were with me, trust me it was energy-draining but it is worth it because it made me a people-person and approachable.
So go ahead and try these steps and leave a comment on what you think.
A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. (Provs 18:24)